39 students wait by desserts for 40th before looking for a table

In Stav Hall students have adopted the mentality that the dessert area is a great place to stand, waiting for friends before heading to a table. On April 28, witnesses claim that there were 39 Oles, probably first years, clogging the "desired flow" of the Caf by waiting for the 40th person in their group.

"Check out these broads," said Tom Jacobson ‘10, a football player who frequently sits at the closest table to the desserts. "They really know how to pack themselves in there, eh?"

The traffic jam, which occurs approximately 16 times a day in this location, is known to vary in size and density, but this one was probably the worst seen in a couple weeks.

Despite complaints of bystanders and hungry students stuck behind the mob, the 39 students all agreed that it was in everybody's best interest to just stay put and wait.

"We don't want to lose anybody," said Elizabeth Platt, one of the 39 clueless students. "If we sat down at a table, it might be really hard to find us. That would just be stressful and unnecessary."

The alleged 40th person was Erica Beck ‘13, who took a really long time making a salad. She told reporters that she wanted more garbanzo beans and they were really hard to reach due to the glass that covers the vegetables. She also wanted cottage cheese and a chicken breast, which are located in two additional lines.

"I eat healthy," Beck said. "So?"

While St. Olaf promotes healthy eating, other students say this common problem needs to be solved. "I came up with a solution," Jacobson said. "They should just sit down. The 40th person will probably be OK."

The event took place during the 6 p.m. dinner rush that is notoriously clogged with humming Ole Choir members just released from rehearsal.

"Editor's note: this article appeared in the April 30, 2010 satire issue of the Messenger."