I don’t believe in apathy: empathy to rape and assault victims

It's like invasion, like drilled oil now spilling off into the ocean. They are natural elements, but when taken out of context, oil becomes a perversion. It becomes something dirty and harmful and affects more than just the water; it affects the inhabitants near the spillage. The same is true with rape. Sex is a natural, beautiful and fun act between two human beings, but when it is non-consensual, to the victim it feels perverse and dirty.

Most people do not realize how ambiguous sexual assault and rape can be. In 47 percent of cases, men and women are reported drinking. Two-thirds of all rapes occur in a home with someone known to the victim, male or female.

Of the numerous friends I've known who have been raped or sexually assaulted, most of them did not realize it had happened until the next day because they were either drugged at the time, blacked out from drinking or did not realize that their situation constituted rape or sexual assault.

There are gray areas in rape and sexual assault. The HOPE Center and SARN are compassionate and make it a point to tell the victim, "I believe you." Does St. Olaf College do the same? No.

Understandably, the school has to be fair while investigating claims of sexual assault and rape. In an e-mail interview with Director of Public Safety, Fred Behr, he stated, "We take the personal safety of our students very seriously." And yet, fairness should not be without empathy.

One survivor stated, "I was appalled with how St. Olaf treated the incident and made me feel like I was in the wrong."

Despite one's lack of evidence, shouldn't the school try to be somewhat compassionate to both parties? Both victim and accused are under emotional stress and to make any victim, with or without evidence, feel "in the wrong" is hurtful.

On the "About" page on the St. Olaf website, it states, "to study at St. Olaf is to engage with and make sense of the world." How can anyone make sense of the world if those in power, who are supposed to help them during their time of need, are dismissive and apathetic?

One student said in an e-mail interview, "I think the hardest thing for a survivor to deal with when reporting is understanding the fact that the school must give each student (survivor and perpetrator) their rights and a fair chance to present their side of the story. Although a survivor may see this as the school being insensitive, which is completely understandable considering the emotional strain and pain they are going through at the time, the school is just being fair to each student. It's their job to not blame anyone without investigating every single possible avenue."

It seems as if people assume that females are lying about sexual assault and rape in order to not appear anti-male (99 percent of reported cases are perpetrated by males). In a recent article in the Daily Mail, a jury acquitted an Australian man of rape because the female victim was wearing skinny jeans, and her jeans were "too tight" to rip off without help from the female. This lack of belief is not far from this campus: from a confidential source, one administrator said in response to her case that it was an "odd" case.

"The sexual assault policy was revised a few years ago ... The process was clearly articulated and the needs/support of the reporting party remained of paramount importance," Behr said. "I believe the policy is effective in responding to incidents of sexual assault."

In an e-mail interview with Dean  Greg Kneser, he responded earnestly, promptly and seriously to my questions. One thing he stated stuck out in my mind: "A student does not need to have had a rape kit done to pursue college disciplinary charges."

And yet, several of my own friends had issues with the school with their lack of rape kit evidence. One student stated in an e-mail that her SARN advocate was "incredibly supportive" and made her case feel "legitimate."

However, she said, "We decided to e-mail Dean Kneser with a hypothetical situation about what would happen if I were to take action. It wasn't as helpful as I was hoping … I haven't taken any action yet, but I'm aware that because my case is pretty complicated there will be a lot of red tape surrounding it."

It's difficult to provide punishment when allegations of rape or sexual assault are made. But that's not where I want to see change. The school needs to rethink how they react and follow up with allegations. Nothing is more telling of a person's character than how they act in times of need.

We don't hate men. We don't want to cause drama. We just want compassion, whether or not the school can punish the perpetrator. We know our peers, like those in SARN, care and believe us. We want the school we chose, the school we pay thousands of dollars to, the school we are studying at, to be fair and caring to both parties involved.

The school needs to rework the procedure of reacting to rape or sexual assault victim allegations. This is not just an opinion, but a demand.
 

Opinions editor Julia Aaker ‘11 (aakerj@stolaf.edu) is from Teaneck N.J. She majors in English and sociology/anthropology.