“I knew something was missing right away,” Nick Roskam ’21 told reporters, referring to the emptiness he felt after his friend and pre-med student Kira Mowdy ’21 sat working on organic chemistry homework in the library in silence.
“Kira and I have worked on homework together since freshman year, and this is the first time she hasn’t pointed out how much harder her course load is than mine,” Roskam said.
Expecting to be relieved, Roskam was surprised to find himself missing Mowdy’s constant whining. Without it, he was left with a gross inferiority complex while he quickly realized there was nothing to complain about over dinner to his other, less obnoxious friends.
“When we all sat down at the caf, it was unusually quiet. I mean, we usually start dinner off by b******* about Kira. That’s when I noticed that she was literally sitting across from me,” Mowdy’s current roommate Amelia Lowth ’21 explained, flabbergasted. She continued, “We were all super confused because she never comes to dinner. We used to try inviting her, but she always makes it a point to tell us that she can’t because she’s busy with orgo. I haven’t seen her since last May when we were in bio together. She complained about that, too.”
Mowdy’s friends plan to take advantage of the situation by learning more about Mowdy’s character beyond chemistry. The group learned facts about their friend they never would have believed existed. For example, Roskam told reporters, “Did you know she loves the Ice Age franchise? I had no idea. I didn’t realize she had any personality traits beyond being incredibly annoying and dissatisfied with everything.”
When asked to sit down for an interview with [the Mess] to answer what prompted her to forget to complain about orgo, Mowdy quickly refused via an email, citing a strenuous homework schedule she claimed was just so, so hard.